spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize