I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
