My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
