Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
