I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
