Don't you send me to vm
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
