remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
