ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
