Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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