nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
