Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
