I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
