yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
