she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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