Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
