If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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