I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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