Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
