Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
