No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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