i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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