i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
