so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
