If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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