i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
