I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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