Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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