Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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