I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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