Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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