I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
