Sry I called you an 8
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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