Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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