If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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