For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
