I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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