Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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