Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
