Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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