they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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