he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
