Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
being pregnant is like rehab
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
