bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So squirting runs in the family.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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