like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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