O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
