so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
