I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
