This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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