the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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