Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
