What did we do last night that was yellow?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
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