Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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