If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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