I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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