Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
