i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
